True Power and Lasting Influence

Last month, I finally finished my graduate school applications. In many ways, it has been an exhausting, five-year long process, filled with discouragement, indecision, and procrastination. I applied to a few schools as a freshly minted undergraduate but the results of my efforts were less than stellar. However, this time around, I had a powerful guiding force on my side; the influence of an inspired and inspiring mentor was invaluable

I’ve long been conscious of the importance of mentors in the lives of young people. For several years, I’ve volunteered with various organizations as a mentor for youth in difficult circumstances (typically neglected or abused children). In my church, I formerly served as a youth leader for about 14 congregations in the Boston area. It has always fascinated me how even the most distant, jaded, intransigent, defiant, belligerent teenager still seems to crave adult attention and will eventually respond positively to a committed mentor; how much difference it makes when he knows that someone cares. Even if he tries really hard to hide it, you can often see it in his eyes and read it on the subtle lines of his face—that desire to connect, to be known, seen, understood, valued.

Recently, I’ve realized the importance of mentors even for those of us who might be considered adults. Often, we need a trusted individual to convince us that we can do something and to instill within us the courage to keep fighting towards a goal. My former supervisor at HBS is probably the best mentor I’ve ever come across. He has served as a mentor not just to me but to countless of his MBA students, doctoral students, other faculty, and the wider school community. Not only is he one of the hardest working people that I know and the undisputed greatest teacher at Harvard Business School (an institution known worldwide for its teaching), but he also somehow manages to maintain an enviable work-life balance. Although his name is not famous, he has inspired and shaped some of the best and most promising business leaders in the world. From our very first meeting he has demonstrated undeserved confidence in my abilities. Because he always expects the best of people (in all aspects of their lives) he galvanizes everyone with whom he comes in contact to be and to become better than they otherwise would. When someone credible who you really respect and trust believes in you—in your talent, in your potential, in your ability to work hard—it makes you feel like you can accomplish anything. You increase your efforts in order to live up to his expectations; somehow, the confidence he has in you pushes you to new heights that you could not reach alone.

If I do manage to get into graduate school, it will be largely as a direct result of the letter of recommendation that this former supervisor wrote for me. If I could one day be half of what he is—in terms of intelligence, insight, writing ability, clarity of thought, organization, productivity, teaching skills, efficiency, concern for students, humility, and common sense—I would be content. Already, the fact that such an amazing person believes in me is a major coup, more than I ever could have expected. As I continue to work with young people, I will follow his model—always expecting the best from them and encouraging and enabling them to live up to those expectations.

When I was in Boston, I volunteered with AFC Mentoring. I got this shirt on a campout for mentors and mentees in 2007. Check out their website here.